Seasons of Hopes and Dreams

As August began I would begin to look forward to Autumn and then to winter. It's literally the middle of the summer and all I can do is dream and become sentimental and romanticize freezing temperatures and snowy evenings.  The cold air blowing, snowstorms, hot chocolate and sweaters. If you were cold, you could put on a sweater or go beneath the covers - in the heat there was no cover and as I said, the air conditioner didn't really work as they do today. 

Most of the colors have faded, the sun is on the beach somewhere and there is a cold gust of loneliness being thrust onto these tracks. No train coming, nothing in sight. No time for dreaming, maybe tonight. When the street lights turn on, the purple sky above us, the winds blowing and the sounds […]

El Capitan

     Tommy had hoped to experience a whole new world and to be inspired to write a story based on the old man. He had hoped to catch a lot of fish and to find a job in one of the local papers. Instead he became ensnared by the fishing and the smell of the early morning sea. It wasn't long before he was able to rent his own apartment on the other side of the marina.

Bottles of Milk Frozen in my Doorway

Somewhere in time there is a young boy throwing a spalding at five stairs leading up to his porch. He is wearing a New York Met's cap, satin New York Met's jacket and blue jeans. He is calling out the names of the players prior to throwing the ball. He is Tom Seaver throwing to Jerry Grote - somewhere in time. 

Tales from The F Train Five forty five, Tuesday, November 7th, 2017

Can anyone truly allow themselves the allowance of the painful healing powers of surrender? Some run around searching for connections, some drink or eat more than they should; some are abusive pouring out their pain onto others as if conquering the sadness by causing others to feel it for them, from them. Some just go through time with distractions…They keep the noise surrounding them at all times - people, music, television, smart phones, computers...open the windows and let the noise distract us. At night, as one lays in bed, intrusions of inner noises such as memories or embellishments of one’s history. Rationalizations for the decisions in our lives we choose to avoid regretting or taking responsibility for. “It all happens for the best,” or the ultimate shirking of responsibility - “God is in control.” We close the door to those intruders whose aim is to disturb us from our dreams; so we close our eyes tightly and we force ourselves to be someone else, somewhere else…We sleep to dream and awake to the alarming sound that the time to dream has past.

Trick or Treat?

When I think about Halloween I think about when we moved to east 2nd street; we would go trick or treating after school and try to avoid being egged. (raw eggs being thrown at us) We would come home, running from the bus, put on our costumes and go house to house - then to the buildings on the corner of east 2nd and avenue S. We would come home and sort out the candy - non-kosher candy, fruits (with or without blades) and loose candy would go into the garbage. There were also the ones who would give us a dime, or some pennies. I remember putting together enough change to buy a wiffle ball or two. I know I am romanticizing this - I am sure it was not always as much fun and filled with excitement as my memory tells me. As the the days become shorter and eventually, cooler - the turkeys are beginning to run away from the butchers and the Enteman pumpkin pies are arriving on the counters of the supermarkets - I become nostalgic. Hell, I am always nostalgic. Life is not a simple task and to me, nostalgia helps me deal with life’s complications.

Home Again

I found my way down to Los Gatos in California. I was led there by another woman named, Danielle, who's father worked at Netflix in some high powered job there. She promised me a job there and a place to live. I lived with her and her sister for two years; working in the marketing department of Netflix for a while and then shifting over to work in San Jose at Happy Hollow Park Zoo for what seemed like eternity but in reality was only for a month. It was at the end of that month that I met Tracey, a graphic designer and recently a divorcee.

Songs of Spirals and Flights

Her name is Sara and she is 32 years old, divorced with two children. Her children are 6 and 8 - both girls - she shares custody with her ex-husband, Hank, who takes them on the weekends to his home, two blocks north of where she is. Sara stands by the kettle and whispers, “Come on already,” as if her urging will incite the water to hit the temperature which will cause the water to boil when she will then pour that water into the cup with the instant coffee, one packet of sugar and milk already in place waiting to be forever united as her first cup in the morning.

One More Meal at Lou’s

Louie ran the place with a magnifying glass in his hand - so clean you could eat off the floor in the basement. He knew everyone's name - “Hey Zalta, Chera, Kredi, Kassab, Sasson or Garda.” He knew everyone and he treated us all the same way - rough. Then Ruthy would step in and smile. They were together behind the counter and would make the line move along quickly.

Tales from the F Train Chapter 5 – Max and Sophia (part 2)

Time did not stop for either of them; a year passed and they each filled their time with stuff that life throws at you. For Max it meant drinking too much and sleeping too little. For Sophia it meant working while trying to absorb the Italian culture as much as possible. They each dated other people, thought about each other, began to contact the other and then quickly stopped. The feelings of regret, broken parts, missing each other and what ifs, slowly began to dissipate as time kept on doing it's job as only time can.

Tales from the F Train Chapter 3 The Levirate Marriage

She closed her eyes and thought about the song that had come on randomly earlier. “It had to be you,” was the song they had danced to at the wedding. She tried to convince herself at that time that she felt they were as one. Once she kissed him, she could still feel his lips against hers; cold blooded and dispassionate. It was then she felt a pain inside of her as if a hypnotic spell had been cast and now it had run it's course. She whispered that she needed to go to the bathroom.

Tales from the F Train Chapter Two Jacob

In 1945 I had just come back from being stationed at Fort Bragg. I had been released for what they called ‘section 8.’ My first night back at home, we lived at 99 Ryerson Street in Brooklyn, next to the park over there, my first night there I met with my girl. She was happy I was home and expected me to pop the question. I wasn’t ready to ask any questions to anyone. The next night she told me she had met someone while I was away and that he did have a question for her and she was ready to answer him, unless I would ask her first. I laughed, turned and walked away while she cried, ran up to her room and I never saw her again.

Tales from the F-Train Chapter One WANDA

She walked on and took a seat facing ahead against a window. She watched the rooftops pass by and saw some instant scenes of lives passing by. A man in a wife beater undershirt standing looking outside, an empty room, a woman walking past the window. Quentin Road and she saw the snow was starting to stick on the rooftops and on the grassy parts of the sidewalks below.

Somewhere in Time – Brooklyn

There was a full moon, clear dark blue sky with flashes of lights, shooting stars and time passing by. There was a lonely man in the window upstairs, I caught a glimpse of him just before the curtain fell. He wasn't alone, there was a shadow behind him, a silhouette of a woman, perhaps his wife or lover? He seemed lonely nevertheless.

Life of a Salesman Chapter 3

My mother didn't like me all that much. Oh she loved me but she just didn't like me. She would tell me this when she put me to sleep at night. "Love you! Don't like you very much, but you are my son." "Love you too, mom. Mom? Did dad like me?" I would ask. "Yes he did, honey, he loved you." "So how come you dont like me much?" "Not sure - but I love you." "So you love me so much that you cannot like me?" "I guess you can say that - now go to sleep."

Another Life and Time

"Where, when, how?" I ask. "I don't know, but here we are. I was watching you walk, babe, and you don't look like the Freddy I remember." "I am not the Freddy you remember. People have all turned out to be false gods prayed to by the lost. Pretense and self promotion is all the rage these days." "I know I see your posts." "Thats all done in jest - but its a platform for me to express myself."

The 5310 Testament

She paused and then looked at me. "I need my time back. I am running out of it - I was given all these years and I wasted them.." She stood up to leave, "I need to go..."